once upon a time... and then you wake up...

I consider my name ain’t important. Either is my age. I will only mention that I live, study and work in Cluj, a city in Romania where everything is possible….

Everybody likes Cluj. They love it actually. Teenagers for the clubs and the late night fun, middle aged for the restaurants, churches, museums, architecture and many other things. Old people like it because they got used to it.

I kinda hate it. I mean it’s big, people run around all the time, having no idea where they’re going, 13 year old kids act like they are 25, old people act like they are still young. Nothing is like it’s supposed to be. Everybody is pretending, no one is interested in what you feel, what you need, what you do, what you’re problems are. Everybody wants to change things, no one actually does. So I come to wonder: In a city like Cluj is it possible to stay just the way you are, or are you pushed to change into what everybody wants you to be?

When I first moved here, I liked it. Actually I loved it. It was my dream to be by myself in a city where I could be found only if I wanted to. My whole life I studied hard to get there and I was extremely happy when my dream finally came true.

So here I was…18, all alone, no one to tell me where to go and when to be home. And I took advantage of every opportunity I got. I went out every night, I had fun, I met people. I was living my life, I was falling in love, I was experiencing new things and nothing could stop me from living my dream of freedom. Time went by, month after month, year after year and it felt great… Until one day….

July 14th… I will never forget that day…. The day I found a job….

Finding a job is always a good thing. You wanted it, you fought to get it, you know you deserve it, and when you got it, you’re so happy you think you’ll never let it go. Everything’s perfect: the office, the colleagues, the boss, the salary… The salary is obviously good, you negotiated for it…

Until the months go by and you realize the cruel reality: Nothing is perfect…. Nothing was and nothing will ever be….

There comes the time when fun has to end. You finish school, or are about to finish school, finish university, have to find a job and a career… That’s what everybody does. You can’t be different in a city that doesn’t allow differencies…

In the lack of time, lack of joy, lack of reasons to enjoy you’re life, you settle down. You go to work, come home, eat, take a shower and go to sleep, so you’ll be able to wake up for work in the morning. You’ve got a job, you’re what everybody wanted you to be, except yourself… And so I answered my question….